Introduction
As the saying goes, “When a son grows up, he should avoid his mother; when a daughter grows up, she should avoid her father.” This implies parents must step back at the appropriate time and give their children more personal space. Overstepping the boundaries of parent-child relationships may cause harm to the child. In reality, many parents, due to excessive pampering, often neglect these boundaries, leading to situations where children are hurt.
Overstepping Boundaries Due to Excessive Pampering Can Hurt Children
A father once deeply loved his daughter and treated her like his “little cotton-padded jacket.” He cared for almost everything for her, from putting her to sleep, bathing her, and changing her clothes, except for breastfeeding. At first, the mother thought the father was very fond of their daughter, and since the child was still young, she didn’t mind. However, as the girl grew up, the father continued to bathe and dress her daily, even sharing the bed with her, making the mother very uncomfortable.
The mother tried several times to discuss with her husband that their daughter was growing up and needed some distance, but the father was unhappy, thinking, “What’s wrong with loving my daughter?” Later, as the girl entered adolescence and began living at school, the situation improved. However, when the girl was 16, her mother discovered something unusual about her daughter’s belly while changing her clothes. The mother quickly took her daughter to the hospital for a checkup, and the results shocked both parents — the girl was pregnant!
Under her parents’ questioning, the girl finally revealed the truth. She secretly had a boyfriend at school who treated her very well, just like her father. The girl felt “fatherly warmth” from her boyfriend, and they soon became intimate. The regretful father realized that his lack of boundaries in loving his daughter had led to this situation, and the harm caused to her was irreparable.
The Warning of the Stories
This story serves as a warning to all parents: do not assume children are too young to understand. Children become aware of gender differences around the age of three, curious about the differences between their own and their parents’ bodies. Therefore, in everyday life, parents should be cautious about maintaining boundaries in various situations.
Backlinks
“Teaching Kids About Boundaries”, Child Mind Institute, 27 Apr 2023, https://childmind.org/article/teaching-kids-boundaries-empathy/
“The Importance of Setting Boundaries in Effective Behavior Management for Children”, 26 Apr 2023, https://www.refersms.com/the-importance-of-setting-boundaries-in-effective-behavior-management-for-children/
“The Importance Of Setting Boundaries: Ten Benefits For You And Your Relationships”, Betterhelp, 19 Apr 2023, https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/the-importance-of-setting-boundaries-10-benefits-for-you-and-your-relationships/